Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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