You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are two peas in an std pod
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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