Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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