your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
