well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am spending my child support on dildos
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
