could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
