I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
