the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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