sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So many bounce houses so little time
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize