I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
