you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Alive.
So much puke
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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