you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
