the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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