I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
