I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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