I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
