I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
