I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
