I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
