It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
