Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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