oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
