im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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