I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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