Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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