Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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