a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
