apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
