Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
