Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
