Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
