So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
