So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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