My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
