Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
