I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
