oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
