No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
