Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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