One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
