We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
