Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Your penis caused this!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
