new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
