we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
