if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
