i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
