The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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