we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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