you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
