hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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