Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
